Posted on November 24th, 2025.

Holidays can feel especially complicated when you are grieving. The lights, music, and traditions that used to feel comforting can suddenly highlight who is missing and how much life has changed. You might notice yourself drifting between moments of warmth and sharp waves of sadness, sometimes within the same hour.

That emotional mix can be confusing, and it is easy to feel like you are “doing it wrong” if you are not as cheerful as people expect. Grief does not follow the calendar, though, and it does not pause just because the world is decorating and celebrating. Giving yourself room to feel what you actually feel, instead of what you think you should feel, is a healthy place to start.

As you move through this season, it can help to think in terms of gentle supports: caring for your body, calming your mind, and staying connected to others who understand. Self-care, mindfulness, and supportive relationships will not erase your loss, but they can make the holidays more bearable and sometimes even quietly meaningful.

Embracing Self-Care During Holidays

Self-care is often talked about casually, but during the holidays and while grieving, it becomes something much more serious. The extra demands, invitations, and memories can strain your energy far more than usual. When you add grief on top of that, your emotional and physical reserves may run low quickly. This is why giving yourself permission to slow down and care for your basic needs is so important.

A helpful first step is simply noticing how you are doing from day to day. You might pause for a moment each morning and ask, “What kind of day does this feel like?” Some days you may have the capacity for a small gathering; on others, even a phone call may feel like too much. Instead of forcing yourself into every tradition, you can choose what feels manageable and skip what feels draining or painful.

Practical self-care for grief during holidays does not have to be elaborate. Focus on regular meals that are easy to prepare, enough water, and as much restful sleep as you can reasonably get. Gentle movement, like stretching or walking around the block, can help release some of the tension that settles in your body. Even ten minutes of fresh air can make a quiet difference in how you feel.

It can also help to rethink your schedule before it fills up. You might decide ahead of time which events you will attend, how long you will stay, and who you want by your side. Letting close friends or family know your limits ahead of time can reduce pressure. If you decide to cancel plans at the last minute, remind yourself that your well-being is more important than meeting expectations.

Creating small, personal rituals can be another meaningful form of self-care. You might light a candle for the person you miss, write them a letter, or set aside a few minutes each evening to reflect. Some people find comfort in keeping one tradition the same while gently changing others. These choices affirm that your grief is real and that your connection to your loved one continues, even as daily life shifts.

Throughout all of this, self-compassion matters just as much as any activity. You might notice thoughts like “I should be over this by now” or “Everyone else is handling things better than I am.” When those show up, try responding with a kinder thought, such as “I’m doing the best I can,” or “It makes sense that this is hard.” That kindness toward yourself is a powerful form of self-care on its own.

Mindfulness as a Tool for Holiday Stress Relief

Mindfulness can be especially helpful when your thoughts and emotions feel scattered during the holidays. Rather than trying to push away grief or pretend everything is fine, mindfulness invites you to notice what is happening inside you with a softer, more curious attitude. This does not mean you like what you feel, only that you are willing to see it clearly without judging yourself.

When stress builds, the mind may race ahead to worst-case scenarios or replay painful memories on a loop. Mindfulness helps bring your attention back to the present moment, which often feels more manageable than the stories your mind is spinning. By focusing on one breath, one sound, or one sensation at a time, you create a little breathing room around your grief instead of feeling swallowed by it.

You do not have to be an expert meditator to benefit from holiday season mindfulness. Short, simple practices can still make a real difference:

• Deep Breathing Exercise: Find a comfortable position and close your eyes if that feels okay. Inhale through your nose for a count of four, hold for four, then exhale slowly through your mouth for another count of four. Repeat several times, staying curious about how your chest and belly move with each breath.
• Body Scan Meditation: Sit or lie down and bring your attention slowly from your toes up to the top of your head. Notice areas of tightness, heaviness, or discomfort without trying to fix them right away. As you breathe, imagine sending a little warmth or softness into those spots.
• Mindful Walking: Take a slow walk, even if it is just around your home. Pay attention to the sensation of your feet on the floor, the movement of your legs, and the sounds around you. When your mind wanders, gently return your focus to the act of walking.

These exercises can be adjusted to fit your comfort level and time. You might start with a minute or two and gradually build up, or you might use them only on days that feel especially difficult. What matters most is the intention to treat yourself with care while you practice being present.

Mindfulness can also be woven into everyday activities like eating, showering, or washing dishes. For example, you can pause to notice the temperature of the water, the scent of soap, or the texture of food. These details help anchor you in what is happening now, rather than in memories or fears. That grounding can be especially helpful when grief feels raw.

Over time, mindfulness can deepen your understanding of your own patterns. You may start to recognize which songs, places, or dates stir up stronger emotions, which lets you prepare for them with more support. Mindfulness does not erase sadness, but it can help you hold sadness and moments of comfort side by side, which is often what healing slowly looks like.

Building a Support System to Manage Holiday Grief

Grief can feel very lonely, and holidays often highlight that loneliness. A support system helps soften the isolation by surrounding you with people who care and are willing to walk beside you. Support can look like many things: a text from a friend, a sibling who shares memories, a coworker who covers a shift, or a neighbor who simply checks in. Each small gesture can remind you that you do not have to carry everything by yourself.

Family and close friends may be a natural starting point. You might let them know what feels helpful and what does not this year. For example, you could say, “I might leave the gathering early,” or “I’d love to talk about them, even if I cry.” Clear communication can make it easier for others to support you in ways that match what you truly need, rather than what they assume you need.

Outside of your immediate circle, your wider community can be part of your support network too. Local groups, faith communities, and community centers sometimes hold remembrance services, grief-focused events, or quiet gatherings during the holiday season. Attending these can offer a sense of belonging and shared understanding, especially when it feels like everyone else is celebrating without any worries.

Support groups for grief, whether online or in person, can also be incredibly meaningful. Being with others who have experienced loss often creates a unique kind of comfort. You do not have to explain why certain days are hard; the people around you already understand. In that kind of setting, you can share your story, listen to others, and pick up practical coping ideas that may work for you as well.

Professional counseling is another powerful form of support, especially when emotions feel tangled or you are not sure how to move forward. A counselor can help you explore your feelings, identify patterns, and develop coping strategies tailored to your life and your loss. Having a regular, confidential space to be fully honest can bring relief and clarity, even if the grief itself remains.

Bringing together personal relationships, community resources, peer support, and professional help can create a strong network around you. You do not need all of these at once; even one or two can make a noticeable difference. The main thing to remember is that asking for support is not a sign that you are failing at grief. It is a sign that you are taking your pain seriously enough to not face it alone.

Related: How to Reduce Stress in Times of Political Uncertainty

Compassionate Support for Your Holiday Grief

At Bristo Counseling, we understand how heavy the holidays can feel when you are living with loss. We offer individual and group counseling focused on grief and seasonal stress so you can talk openly, learn practical coping tools, and feel less alone as you move through this time of year at your own pace.

We provide free consultations to help you decide what kind of support fits you best, whether you are looking for short-term guidance through the holidays or ongoing counseling. During your consultation, we listen to your story, answer questions, and recommend next steps that respect your needs, your boundaries, and your existing support system.

Take the first step toward healing—Book your free consultation now and receive compassionate guidance through your grief.

If you prefer a direct conversation, give us a call at (817) 953-0910.